"Hanging Fire" by Audre Lorde

I am fourteen
and my skin has betrayed me
the boy I cannot live without
still sucks his thumb
in secrect
how come my knees are
always so ashy
what if i die
before the morning comes
and my mommas in the bedroom with the door closed.

I have to learn how to dance
in time for the next party
my room is too small for me
suppose I die before graduation
they will sing sad melodies
but finally
tell the truth about me
There is nothing I want to do
and too much that has to be done
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

Nobody even stops to think
about my side of it
I should have been on Math Team
my marks were better than his
why do I have to be
the one
wearing braces
I have nothing to wear tomorrow
will I live long enough
to grow up
and momma's in the bedroom
with the door closed.

I chose to read and analyze this poem because it was about a 14 year old like me, and I felt like I could maybe relate to the poem.  In this poem, this girl seems very stressed and not happy with herself or life.  All she does is complain, and I don't think she see's any happiness in life.  She talks about "what if I die" "suppose I dies" which leads me to think that she wouldn't mind dying.  There is a lot of "what ifs" and "should haves".  She also seems very distressed.

I believe that the girl in this poem is african american because she says "how come my knees are always so ashy", and african americans usually talk about having ashy knees.  She also says "my skin has betrayed me".  This also leads me to think that she could be of different race because this could mean color of skin.  I also think it could be acne because that is a teenage problem and that is what most of this poem consists of.  She also seems to care a lot about her mom and is upset because her mom isnt there to help her.  She wants her mom to come and help her deal with these teenage problems.  The author makes us feel like we are inside the girls head because it seems just like a mixture of jumbled thoughts.